Grief is heavy. And when someone we care about is carrying it, we often find ourselves at a loss for what to say or do. We want to help, we want to ease their pain—but the truth is, we can’t take it away. What we can do, though, is offer our presence, our care, and our love in real, tangible ways.
One of the most helpful things we can offer is specific help.
You’ve probably said it before—we all have: “Let me know how I can help.” It’s kind. It’s well-meaning. But in the fog of grief, that question can feel like another thing to figure out. Grieving people often don’t have the bandwidth to consider what they need, let alone articulate it.
So instead of offering a blank check of support, try making your offer concrete.
Say something like:
“I want to support you during this time. I could:
- Take care of all your yard work this season
- Or help run the kids every other week on Tuesday nights from 5–7
- Order food from your favorite restaurant for delivery this week
Do any of those stand out as the most helpful right now?”
When your offer is clear and actionable, it removes the burden of decision-making and gives your grieving friend one less thing to worry about. It communicates care in a way that feels grounding and safe.
The truth is, showing up doesn’t have to be grand or perfect. It just has to be real. Offer your presence. Say their loved one’s name. Sit in silence. Text without expecting a reply. Mail a card that simply says, “I see you. I love you. I’m here.”
At Written Hugs Designs, we believe in the quiet power of gestures like these. A simple act of thoughtfulness can be a lifeline for someone navigating deep sorrow. And you don’t have to have the perfect words—you just have to show up, again and again, with tenderness.
Because grief doesn’t follow a timeline. And support shouldn’t either.
